tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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