doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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