i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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