Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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