??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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