nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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