Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
this boner is exhausting
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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