i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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