im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
