there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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