Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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