talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
