You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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