I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
