Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
