why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
