U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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