what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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