we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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