Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
