So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
