Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Pappa wants mamma naked
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
