I showed him my bush... on skype.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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