Screwed.edu
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
