There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
zippers are such a cool invention
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
