I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
