But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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