My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
