you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
