I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
