I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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