Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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