Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
