So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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