she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
