Having a random hookup so left but love u
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
