Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
