she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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