Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
