i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
