At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
