You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
