I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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