Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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