THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
