Buhtt sex?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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