Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
