apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
