yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
