at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You are the jesus of drinking
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
