Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
