But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
