i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
