And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
