He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
